I really do think I've finally figured out how to do just that: how to slow down time. By slowing down myself. To actually savor time itself. Like the quiet moments while reading to my daughters. Or the not so quiet times when building a fort with them or flying through the air on our 30-foot swing. I'm learning not to rush through the day to get onto the next project or to constantly keep the house clean. (Which, by the way, is completely impossible with three little ones running about! And I think I'm finally okay with that. :) )
Because people, let me tell ya... at the rate my little girls are growing if I don't slow down I'm going to regret being so busy when they're at the age they don't want to cuddle with me anymore, when they're no longer interested in building a nest out of blankets and pillows so we can pretend we're a family of bluebirds while reading book after book.
I remember reading years ago a newspaper article on how some stay-at-home-moms spend just as much time with their children as those that work out of the home. "How is that possible??", I remember saying to myself. And now, I can see how that is quite possible. It's easy to keep children occupied in your home busy doing things while you work on this or that, instead of being fully engaged with them. And there have definitely been times I've done just that. Since putting my dental hygiene career on hold to be a full time mom, I certainly do not want to replace it with jewelry, or photography, or whatever. Not right now.
There will be plenty of time to pursue all that at a deeper level when my kidlets are older.
Don't get me wrong. I personally don't think a mom has to be hovering over her child every second of each day to ensure they feel loved and appreciated. What I'm talking about is from my own personal experience of being so busy with my jewelry business or whatever that I'm missing out on fully enjoying being a mother... because I'm rushing to here or there too much. I need to minimize some distractions, even some of the "good" ones.
Because inside my heart, I know what kind of mom I want to be.
And I think I can do a better job at achieving that.
So, I guess I'm writing all this to let you know I'm taking a break.
From jewelry that is. Not because I don't love creating it anymore. I definitely still do. And I'm not completely abandoning it. Just for a little while, because in my heart, that is what feels right.
So, the shop will no longer be opening the first Monday and Tuesday of every month.
(I plan on making things in the evenings here and there and will occasionally list them on my etsy site, but they'll already by made and ready to ship--I just can't have any more late nights filling orders). I'll also continue to restock my little shelf in the store in downtown Longview, WA.)
Because as I said, inside my heart, I know what kind of mom I want to be. And I need to make some adjustments in my life to achieve my goal of being more mentally and emotionally present in my childrens' lives.
I want to thank all of you who have supported me through this lil' creative journey of mine. I appreciate your emails. Your comments. I love having this little blog of mine. I really do. I must say, running this little blog has been just as enjoyable and satisfying as creating my jewelry and other crafts. I'll definitely continue bloggin' away, but if I go a few days or over a week without posting anything, know it's because I just don't have time to do so.
I hope everything I've written has made sense. It's something I've wanted to tell you for awhile now, but I haven't quite known exactly how to express everything, and I'm sure I've accidentally left some stuff out, but there you have it.
Here's to Motherhood!
xo,
Pamela
p.s. my next post I'll be hosting a special little giveaway (as I promised I would do back when I hit 1,000 sales in my etsy shop) so stay tuned. :)
p.p.s. All the above photos were taken a few months back when Jane wore "real shoes" for the first time (before that she mainly wore the leather-soled Robeez shoes). I loved following her around as she tried out her new glittery kicks.
